Has your relationship left the honeymoon phase? Do you feel less connected to your partner? Are you feeling like you need to hit the “Reset” button on your romance?
Not to worry—this isn’t a sign of incompatibility or an impending split; in fact, it’s actually quite normal to experience highs and lows in long-term, committed relationships.
If you answered yes to even one of the questions above, your relationship is probably not in trouble; you likely just need to work to bring the romance back to your relationship. And while it is work, it can actually be pretty fun and easy to do (I promise!).
Here are eight simple ways you can revive the love that brought you together in the first place:
Practice Gratitude for Your Partner
Gratitude is a powerful practice: it makes us happier, more energetic, and more forgiving, just to name a few benefits. So why not take those powerful feelings and apply them to your partnership? What do you appreciate, admire, love and cherish about your partner? Just thinking about this on your own every day will be a valuable experience—but feel free to share whatever comes up with the person you’re so grateful for, too! Expressing your gratitude for your partner is a sure-fire way to maintain a happier relationship.
Do Daily Deposits of Love
You know that feeling when you’re doing good for someone else, but it makes you feel good, too? In addition to sharing good deeds with strangers, why not try out those “feeling good” deposits on your partner every day? Surprise them with their favorite latte or compliment their appearance before they leave for work. They feel good and you feel good—it’s a win-win.
Write Letters to Your Love
Get old-fashioned and start writing love letters to the love of your life. (Because who doesn’t love getting snail mail?) You can write them one on the bathroom mirror every day or write one on paper once a week, then actually pop it in the mail (even if you live together!).
Plan a Date to Share Your Visions
Date nights are important—most of us know that—but what if you planned one specifically to share (or revisit) your individual visions for your relationship and your shared vision together? Schedule some time to share how you envision your relationship growing, evolving, expanding—and how you hope to continue to grow together.
Reconnect in the Sheets
There’s no “right” or “wrong” amount of sex for each individual couple, but there’s no avoiding the fact that having it—any of it!—will revive any relationship! Sexual chemistry can certainly be cultivated in any relationship and having more of it will only add to your love life. This tip is pretty easy—and really fun! So just do it. Tonight. You (and your partner) will thank me later.
Plan Weekly Time Together
Reviving the romance in your relationship requires actually spending connected time together, so don’t leave that up to chance! Make weekly plans to do something together—just the two of you. It doesn’t need to be extravagant; it might be as simple as cooking a meal together. Whatever you choose to do, tackle it as a team—leaning on and supporting one another through it, much as you need to do in your relationship.
Create Connected Conversations
Have conversations with and ask questions of your partner that spark true, deep discussion. Your question can be as simple as “How was your day?”, but set the intention that you will only listen actively—don’t jump in with comments, questions, advice. Shut down all distractions and plan to truly listen to what they have to say.
Ask Them What They Want
I could give you 100 more tips for refreshing and reviving your relationship, but there will always be one person who knows even better than me what will revitalize it best—your partner! Ask them what they want: What do they want to do? Experience? Feel? And ask yourself those same questions, too! Then continue to do those things together.