DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE always been a Jack the lad and had sex with loads of women, yet here I am now, with a gorgeous younger woman, and it’s just not happening in bed.
I’m 48 and I’m divorced with two daughters. I grew up in a houseful of women — my mother and three sisters. Dad was a bit of a player, sometimes around and sometimes not.
I slept my way round just about every girl I met during my teens and 20s and then I met my wife when I was 27.
She was 25 and beautiful, and I thought I’d be able to settle down, but our sex life took a back seat after she had the babies.
I tried to accept that’s how life is but, after I’d been married about ten years, a girl made eyes at me and I had sex with her after a works party one evening.
That was the start of a six-month fling. My wife threw me out when she rumbled our affair.
Over the years since then I’ve enjoyed being single again and didn’t lack for opportunity until I met my current girlfriend. She’s 30 and we’ve been dating for eight months.
She moved in with me two months ago. Our sex life was always good. We’d have sex almost daily at the start but after we moved in together she started making excuses, saying she was tired or didn’t want it. She’d push my hand away.
We haven’t had sex for three months now but I don’t feel ready to give up on a sex life at my age. I see a woman at the train station every morning and she’s very attractive.
She doesn’t wear a ring and I’m wondering whether to see if she fancies a drink some time.
DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve already lost your wife through cheating. Don’t go down the same road again.
You’ve had sex with loads of partners but sleeping around is very different from sustaining fulfilling sex in a lasting relationship. You grew up in a home where your dad didn’t fully commit so it’s harder for you to understand a long-term partner’s needs.
Have you asked your girlfriend why she has gone off having sex with you? Is it because she isn’t finding it very satisfying?
Or could it be she has found that you expect her to shoulder most of the chores around the home now you’re together, or have stopped making her feel special now she’s “her indoors”?
Tell your girlfriend you realise things aren’t right and ask her what changes you could make to improve your relationship, in and out of bed. My e-leaflets Your Relationship MOT and Reviving A Woman’s Sex Driver will help.